One thing I remember vividly from my childhood growing up was having horrible growing pains… the kind that would wake me up out of a dead sleep and keep me up for hours as I tossed and turned in bed. If you don’t know what I’m talking about and have never experienced said thing- consider yourself lucky!
Now that I’ve matured and stopped growing (hopefully- knock on wood) the pains in my legs aren’t a problem anymore but yet I seem to still be going through “growing pains” but of a different variety. Emotional growing pains. Spiritual growing pains.. Those of which I think to myself everyone must go through at some point right? Am I crazy?
My first experience with these new “adult” pains was August 17, 2005. The day my world was rocked and flipped completely upside down. The day my dad past away. I was 16. A junior in high school. Really still just a kid (even if at the time I thought otherwise). I felt as though God was throwing me into a storm that I would never survive. But I did. With his help alone I survived. Psalm 40:2 was the verse I randomly opened my bible too on that loooooong drive to Corpus Christi (my dad was taken to the hospital there after his accident) I repeated it to myself over and over MAKING myself believe it to be true.. The verse reads “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” I have that verse memorized and go to it many times during the year. If I had to choose a favorite verse this is a top contender for sure. I was in a slimy pit with what seemed to be no hope of getting out. But God rescued me. He saved me. He protected me. When I felt too weak to stand he gave me faith and strength to make it through- taking each day… each hour… each step one at a time. I made it through those growing pains and I am a much different person today because of them.
I have no one to thank but the love of God getting me through that time. I managed to escape high school still intact and was blessed to be headed off to college at OU. If you asked me why I was going to OU I would tell you I had no idea. And I still don’t know exactly why I picked OU- another gift from God for sure. The campus was pretty and I knew a few people, which was all it took. It wasn’t an easy adjustment though to say the least. I hated college the whole first semester. More “adult” growing pains I had to experience which are not uncommon by any means. Luckily I found a few new friends that made the rest of my first year bearable. I’m sad to say I don’t remember turning to God much during this time. I know the people he put in my life helped me through and I came back excited for OU and college my sophomore year…
I can’t say I experienced many “growing pains” between my sophomore and junior year… minor blimps that now looking back weren’t anything major. This was actual a very joyous period for me. I found a great church and some amazing girls that I share a bible study with now. I met and fell in love with my soon-to-be husband Scott... Life was looking up for me. It was my rainbow after the flood.
Now as I am about to embark on my senior year of college and am preparing to get married and start my life with Scott I seem to be going through more and more “growing pains”. A lot has happened since my junior year of high school. It has been 5 years (here in a few days) since my dad past away. My sister has had a baby- the most precious boy ever and a blessing for my relationship with her. And my mom is experiencing life in new ways. Where am I in all of this I ask myself? Sure I’m getting married in 9 months and sure I’ll be graduating in the spring but right now where am I? Stuck. In transition with nowhere to turn but to God.
August 2005 was by far the most painful growing pains yes, but these that I am experiencing now are a new and different kind of pain. I still turn to Psalms 40:2 but thanks to a sweet sweet friend I was pointed to Romans 8. All of Romans is amazing. All of Romans 8 is even more amazing. God has put me through a LOT these past 5 years and I’m still standing so I know in my heart he will get me through this as well. Paul writes in Romans 8:18, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” That is so amazing to hear and so encouraging when you think that you’re in the worst situation possible. Again Paul write in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” These pains I’m feeling are nothing that God has not planned and is not aware of. He hears my crys and he knows my pain. I can’t help but turn to Him and rely solely on his love and comfort.
These pains too will pass. Just as I was able to eventually fall asleep when I was a child. I will again be able to sleep with the comfort that God is all knowing and all-powerful and would never leave me or forsake me.
Until next time
